Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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