someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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