Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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