He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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