Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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