1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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