I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
