I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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