Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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