another moral hangover. fuck.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
