the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
