I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
