How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
