There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
