ya dads aren't the best wingmen
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
