I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
