I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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