No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
