I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
