'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
