I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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