why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
