i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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