I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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