i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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