I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
