if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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