I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
