I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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