idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
