Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
