her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
