he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
