She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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