I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
