roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
