I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
