with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
