He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
