I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
