I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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