Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
