If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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