I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
