is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
