Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
this hospital has no fireball
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
