she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
