My brain says no but my pants say off.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
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