You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
