This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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